Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

Time To Relax

Nah, nah, nah…we aren’t in the Carribean.

But we are relaxing.

My husband and I have been working 12 hour days, burning the candle at both ends, for quite some time (awesome how our businesses are growing).  And we are busy preparing for the big farm move in our spare time.  So, this week I made an announcement, “We are going to call this weekend our mid-summer vacation.”

As I write this weekend post we have been mowing (much-needed and relaxing), sleeping like babies, laughing, and paying attention to no set schedule.

Laughter definitely erupted when we headed to a Mexican dinner.  We took off on our bikes, his and mine.  We rode the back-roads for while, enjoying the cooling wind on the 90 degree day.  We then turned back towards town.  I was definitely enjoying myself.  In fact I rode past the restaurant.  Wheee! I was a  good distance up the road when I realized my husband’s motorcycle was no longer behind me.  Oops.

What did I do? I pulled off the road.  I laughed.  I laughed so hard I prayed that nobody would ask if was okay.  Then I laughed some more.

I dried my eyes and headed back.  My husband was waiting in the restaurant parking lot.  He said, “I told myself, she’ll be back.”  Hilarious.

We definetly need to relax more often!

Enjoy your weekend!

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Who is going to win the race? Ready, set, go! Off to the finish line.  But, where is that finish line?

Can we not get there, or get it done, fast enough?

As we stop for necessary things during the race, don’t dare talk to a cashier for a few moments.  The unwritten rule is keep the line moving swiftly, no real conversation allowed.  A simple, “Thank you, have a good day,” suffices.  Ooops…scratch that.  Have a good day is now considered cold, not personal.  Better not say anything at all? Instead, turn to text messaging.  It isn’t so cold, so impersonal, and goodness…you can walk about and text all at the same time!

Drive the speed limit.  Not! Only if you want to be the target of obscenities and scowls, or worse.  Oh, why not, don’t you like that sort of abuse?

Time flies fast, perhaps because we are in such a hurry?

I was listening to a comedian a few days ago.  He said, paraphrasing, “When we pass on, standing in line to get through heaven’s gates, will we make it to the line, but be dismissed when we become impatient and snarl or cuss at those waiting in line in front of us?” I can see it now, “Move it, buster, I have things to do…I need to get through that gate.  If you cannot keep the line moving, then move over **** and let me in!”

Someone close to me used to say, “Patience is a virtue.”  Isn’t that statement worth a mint?

Today I commit to working harder at slowing down.  I will work towards patience, realizing that every moment of life is precious.  When you find me laying flat on life’s tracks, smashed by those that have passed me by in a flash…oh well, I’ll be taking a break.  Care to join me? Tea, coffee? Cream?

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What if you lived on No Name Road?

They say developers name many of the roads.   I don’t know about that, but I do know I am amused.

A local told me that No Name had a different name until a few years ago.  Can you imagine calling in a change of address, “Hello, my new address is on No Name Road.”

How about Hardscrabble Road? Any thoughts or ideas?

PeeWee Lane?

Tatorknob Road? Did the developer dig up unusual tators with knobs on them?

How many streets are named Maple? Maple is nearly as popular as Main.

Here’s a tounge twister.  Many roads in southern Ohio contain the word run, such as Millers Run Back Run Road.  No, it isn’t a typo.  I wouldn’t want to be a kindergarden student trying to memorize (or repeat) that street name! 

In Missouri many of the county roads have letters for names.  The most entertaining intersection we saw was where three roads met, I O U.  Love it!

I was thinking of a best road name contest…I still may do it!

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What Type Of Meat?

I am often good for a laugh, especially during wildy hectic times in my life.

Today was no exception.

My husband, Bob, and I stopped at a greasy spoon hot dog/BBQ shop for lunch.

Bob ordered his food and then stepped away in search of a restroom.

The gentleman behind the counter asked me, “Do you know what toppings your husband wants?”

I looked at the order and saw that my husband had ordered a footer.

I replied, “If you can tell me what kind of meat is in a footer I can tell you what toppings to put on it.” 

The man’s response was a stare.  I was confused.

I then approached it at a different angle, thinking he didn’t understand what I was asking.  I said, “If you can point out the footer on the menu, I will know what toppings to have added to his sandwich.” 

Again, the man stared at me, and this time with a very odd expression.  I was growing uncomfortable.

Another employee stepped out of the kitchen and said, “Most people order their footers with sauce, cheese, and onions.” 

I thought about it for a moment.  I knew my husband would not like sauce on his foot long sub sandwich.

Then it dawned on me.  Ohhhhhh…a footer.  I was in a shop that specializes in foot long hot dogs, wasn’t I?

The brain was back in full gear!

Can you imagine what the guy was thinking when I asked what type of meat was in a footer?

Busyness with our businesses…beyond that I think we can call it mush!

Life without humor, where would we be?

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If I can stop laughing perhaps I’ll get this post written.

I have been practicing on my bike.  I am up to approximately 10 hours on pavement, on a road with zero traffic. 

Today I decided I was ready to take a test shot on our road. 

The road was quiet.  People drive fast on our road, which isn’t comforting to someone that has never ridden a 2-wheeled vehicle on a traveled road before. 

I took out of our driveway first, with my husband following behind on his own bike.

I did not top 35 MPH.  I was in 3rd gear, smooth, I was feeling good.

I approached the cross road we had planned to meet-up on,  1 1/2 miles from our home.  My husband and I talked for a moment.  I decided to go further.  Mind you, these are bumpy roads, up and down, with no lines. 

I wheeled my way down the road and what do I see? An oncoming jeep.

Oh yes, I wanted to freak out.  It wasn’t that the jeep was on my side of the road.  It was the sudden reality that it was no longer me alone on the road. 

I clenched my teeth, literally.  Then I became aware of the look on my face.  It was fairly well construed! All of a sudden, I don’t know why, I changed my wadded up-in-pain expression to something like the zebra has in the photo above.  Seriously! I was giggling, scared, and making a face! Can you imagine the laughter that went on in that jeep?

A few moments later I saw an oncoming pick up truck.  I repeated the face twisting, goofy smile. 

Well…it helped me!

I made it to the next corner and decided to U-turn and stop.

The husband arrived moments later, pulled up beside me, and said, “You did very well! I am proud of you!”

I started laughing, telling him how scared I was when the oncoming vehicles passed.  I told him about the faces that I had made.  My husband then told me that the guy in the pick up truck was laughing.  He waved at my husband, with a look of sheer acknowledgement.

If you read in the funny papers about some crazy middle-aged woman scooting around, looking very much  like a smiling animal behind her helmet shield, you just might be able to say I know who she is! 

I am okay…really, I am.

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I very much enjoyed a recent email from a customer.  I thought you might enjoy the humor as well.

When my customer’s husband asked her what she wanted for her upcoming birthday.  Her answer was, “I want more of that wonderful soap!”  She said she got so excited when she placed the soap order that she forgot to include an important box number in the ship to address.  Her next words put a smile on my face, she said she was now “plagued with visions of some stranger whisking off with my soap!!!”  Hilarious…but would be a worry, I love it!

She thanked me, explaining that each of her family members use my soaps and truly appreciate them.  She also talked about how I am blessed with a talent for making soap. 

Some of you have heard me say this before, I think we are all blessed with talents and gifts.  I love to see people follow their passions.  Don’t worry about what you cannot do so well, focus on what you are good at.  You will shine.  I hope you do!

Have a beautiful day!

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I have been missing in action, living with aggravation.  And now I am trying to write in a manner that includes humor.  That, in itself, is funny.  I asked my husband for help, words of wisdom, his reply was, “Throw eggs at it.”

The basket of joy has included mobile phone problems, computer troubles, and signal connection problems. 

I did gain some knowledge.  I will admit to it, I now know the difference between wireless and WiFi (no, I did not know a few weeks ago).  I am now on a wireless plan, and hope to pitch the satellite if all goes well.  No more missing signal when it rains or snows.  I can live with slow related to weather, of course, I do choose to live in the country. 

Do you ever think about how much time a person burns up while dealing with these types of electronic issues? Personally, I saw (and still see) myself behind in the soap shop, at my desk, and with personal chores as a result of spending countless hours on the phone with technical support departments.  I sometimes wonder, is it all worth it?

My answer is, yes, it is worth it.  We wouldn’t have the opportunities in life of connecting here if we didn’t occasionally need to update. And it keeps us young, I am sure you will agree, when we are forced to learn to keep up to date with technology.  Oh yeah, that would be it.  Right? Uh-huh.

I vaguely remember a commercial jingle that fits here, “Sometimes we feel like a nut, sometimes we don’t!”

Humor works.

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Sometimes people subtly remind us that humor really is monumental. 

One morning everything seemed difficult.  The challenges were back to back, unusual.  You know the feeling.  One step forward, ten back.

The phone rang.

My 62-year old friend, Bob, exclaims “I lost my trash can!”


You have to know this guy.

I instantly began laughing.  He really has done well with his first-time computer.

I asked, “Bob, how did you delete your recycle bin?”

He replied, “If anyone can do it, the moron can!”

Oh my word.  He made my day.

I could not help him at that moment.  Later, I went to my own PC to work on a solution.  I then left a detailed voicemail for Bob while he was taking his mother on her weekly grocery shopping venture. 

That evening he called.

“I found my trash can!” he said.  Readers, buckle your funny bone seat belt for Bob’s next statement, “Your message really did help, but I ended up going somewhere else for the trash can.  I went to the Google department!”

Oh yes, the Google department, I shop there all of the time.  Don’t you?

Okay, Mr. Bob, what did you find at the Google department? He said, “Do you know how many different types of trash cans the Google department has?”


I can barely type this post.  Hilarious.  Such perfect humor.  And what is even more funny, I think he was serious.

The good news is, my friend does again have a recycle bin back on his desktop.  I doubt that he completely deleted it to begin with.  I have no idea what the “Google department” is, and I am not sure they have “trash cans.”  But, okay.

We have humor! And that is pure gold!

Have a blessed day!

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My Laughing Buddies...Nieces...During A Pouting Moment

I have a rather warped sense of humor.  When something tickles my funny bone there is no stopping my laughter.

Some of my best Thanksgiving memories are those spent at my father’s house, with my sister and nieces in attendance.

My father didn’t like the giggling…honestly, he was a grouch.  He actually was proud of being grouchy, which was funny on certain days.  I respected my father, but I had a good time with my family despite his grumpiness.

After a long day of visiting and shopping on Black Friday, my niece and I got the hysterics when we retrieved the leftover gravy from my father’s refrigerator.  It definitely had the appeal of brown gelatin.  I looked at her, she was watching me, and the laughter began.  Silly for hours.  Thanksgiving always brings up the discussion of the Jello gravy.

One Thanksgiving at my father’s house included Samson, a male boxer that had just entered our lives.  I believe he was 9 weeks old.  He snorted, played with every toy he could find, he had a grand time.  My sister said, “Mary, I think that dog needs some sinus medicine!” All of us were getting used to the boxer puppy.  Ahhh…boxer love began.  And he was part of the family too.

I’ll never forget the day when my husband, the silly nut, patted the wrong person on the tail end.  I have NO idea how he managed it.  But he got my step-mother instead of myself.  She was thrilled.  I was in hysterics.  She used to flirt with him something terrible, ha! I rather enjoyed seeing her delight, and snickered at my nutty man!

My family is now spread pretty far apart, we are in three states.

This holiday we are having dinner with our best friends.  And yes, we all have a sense of humor.  The stories I could tell…but they fall under the category “you would have had to been there.”

I am thankful for my fond memories, and I am sure there will be many more.  Laughter and love, nothing better in life.  I hope the same for you.

Blessings to you all!

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When A Boxer Is Left Alone

The trail started here...

The trail started here...

My husband and I were gone all of 15 minutes.  As we stepped out the truck and approached the house I immediately noticed no dog standing at the window.  My words were, “Oh, oh…I left a bag of trash on the kitchen floor.”


Tyra, a 6 year old boxer.  If she knows you have left the premises, she will investigate.  And what do I do when I see the beginning of the trail of trash? I start giggling.  You would think I would have more sense than that.  Nope…I go for the broom and dust pan and laugh.  Laugh!

Here is what we normally see as we walk up to the house:


Boxer greeting at window...

Boxer greeting at window...

And once I got her attention…she stood at the kitchen window as if to say, “I didn’t do anything wroonnnggg.”

I am surely innocent...

I am surely innocent...

Sorry about the blur.  Blurry pictures are a no-no!!  Gasp!!!
Have a wonderful weekend! As we (and our best friends) say, “Have lots of grins and chuckles!” Life is short…enjoy.

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