Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Sometimes people subtly remind us that humor really is monumental. 

One morning everything seemed difficult.  The challenges were back to back, unusual.  You know the feeling.  One step forward, ten back.

The phone rang.

My 62-year old friend, Bob, exclaims “I lost my trash can!”

What?

You have to know this guy.

I instantly began laughing.  He really has done well with his first-time computer.

I asked, “Bob, how did you delete your recycle bin?”

He replied, “If anyone can do it, the moron can!”

Oh my word.  He made my day.

I could not help him at that moment.  Later, I went to my own PC to work on a solution.  I then left a detailed voicemail for Bob while he was taking his mother on her weekly grocery shopping venture. 

That evening he called.

“I found my trash can!” he said.  Readers, buckle your funny bone seat belt for Bob’s next statement, “Your message really did help, but I ended up going somewhere else for the trash can.  I went to the Google department!”

Oh yes, the Google department, I shop there all of the time.  Don’t you?

Okay, Mr. Bob, what did you find at the Google department? He said, “Do you know how many different types of trash cans the Google department has?”

No!

I can barely type this post.  Hilarious.  Such perfect humor.  And what is even more funny, I think he was serious.

The good news is, my friend does again have a recycle bin back on his desktop.  I doubt that he completely deleted it to begin with.  I have no idea what the “Google department” is, and I am not sure they have “trash cans.”  But, okay.

We have humor! And that is pure gold!

Have a blessed day!

Read Full Post »

Let’s forget about the snow and winter dreariness.  Instead, let’s have some fun strolling down memory lane.

Basic contest outline:

  • The winner will receive a bar of lavender goat milk soap and a 4 oz. bottle of goat milk lotion. 
  • The winner will be drawn randomly. 
  • To enter contest:  leave a comment on this post.  Not just any comment.  You must tell what your favorite piece of clothing (or outfit) was from your youth (or past), and why.  You must tell what your least favorite clothing was (you know, those cases where you had to wear something that you didn’t want to wear).  And, you must describe your most outrageous piece of clothing from your youth.
  • Contest begins February 18 1:00 A.M., Eastern Standard Time.  Contest ends February 19 8:00 P.M., Eastern Standard Time.

Any questions?

Have fun!

Read Full Post »

 

Goat Milk Soap In The Mold

Even if you do not make soap, can you tell me what is wrong with this picture?

The past several weeks have been filled with a lot of extra chores that range from digging out from two snowstorms, taking care of a special needs kid, and listening to the barn monitor to ensure no kids are born in the middle of a single digit temperature night.

I am a zombie.  But the brain does still function…partially.

Today, out of necessity, I made soap.  

This lovely batch got mixed twice.  The second time with everything that should have gone into it the first round.  

It may not look so neat and pretty…but darn if I didn’t save the soap. 

I still marvel at how nicely the soap poured out of the mold back into the mixing pot.  Slick and smooth.  Like melted butter.  Someone was looking over my shoulder, you think?

I may be reporting from the Funny Farm if I do not get some sleep.

At least I will still be able to laugh.

God gave us humor for a reason, didn’t He?

 

“Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished.  If you’re alive, it isn’t.” Richard Bach

Read Full Post »

Lavender Sweet Orange Goat Milk Soap

Lavender Sweet Orange Goat Milk Soap

Is gibberish a real word? According to Wikipedia:  “Gibberish is a generic term in English for talking that sounds like speech, but carries no actual meaning.”

Raise your hand if:

  • you have high hopes of being able to use an new electronic device right away without detailed instructions
  • you find it necessary to print the instruction manual that came with a new device because you find it too confusing to follow from a CD or PDF file
  • you find detailed instruction manuals tedious, similar to taking a difficult latin course

I answered yes to all 3 questions.  Did you?

Enough said! I caved in.  The photo above was taken with my trusted cell on Monday after I cut a new batch of soap.  Today I hope to sit down with a printed instruction manual (not a “green” thing to do), and actually learn how to use a new camera!

Have a beautiful, stress free day! Enjoy the gibberish as it comes your way, tee hee!

Read Full Post »

Yep, as many of us just experienced, the winter blast arrived, hasn’t quite left yet, and is leaving winter permanently in it’s tailwinds.

Frozen water buckets.  Slick slopes down to the barn.  Winds.  Static electricity in the clothes and hair.

The new Carhart is a joy.  No cold air penetrates.  The Muck boots that I ordered last season grip the ground and keep the toes and legs warm.

But there is a draw back.  Everything feels stiff, bundled up.

As I placed myself next to the doe on the milk stand, I didn’t bother to turn on the light.  I have a window.  It provides dim light in the early morning.  I was too cold to bother much today at all.  Feeling awkward in my arctic attire.  I began the milking steps.  Step one…wash teats.  Step two, place fingers around fully engorged teat.  Step three, squeeze in the proper manner.  Step four, squirt, squirt…but something went wrong.  No milk in bucket.

Wait a minute…did I say no milk in bucket?

Uh-huh…I was milking down my sleeve.  Nice aim. 

The joys of bundling up.  The joys of winter.  I bet my coat loved its refreshing milk bath.  But, yeah, it did a good job! I didn’t feel a thing.

I have been busy, almost too busy to notice.  I am still here, alive and kicking.  Doing the silly things I normally do. 

You don’t know the half of it.  And, boy would I love to hear your funny stories too. I bet you have some!

Read Full Post »

When A Boxer Is Left Alone

The trail started here...

The trail started here...

My husband and I were gone all of 15 minutes.  As we stepped out the truck and approached the house I immediately noticed no dog standing at the window.  My words were, “Oh, oh…I left a bag of trash on the kitchen floor.”

Yep!

Tyra, a 6 year old boxer.  If she knows you have left the premises, she will investigate.  And what do I do when I see the beginning of the trail of trash? I start giggling.  You would think I would have more sense than that.  Nope…I go for the broom and dust pan and laugh.  Laugh!

Here is what we normally see as we walk up to the house:

 

Boxer greeting at window...

Boxer greeting at window...

And once I got her attention…she stood at the kitchen window as if to say, “I didn’t do anything wroonnnggg.”

I am surely innocent...

I am surely innocent...

Sorry about the blur.  Blurry pictures are a no-no!!  Gasp!!!
 
Have a wonderful weekend! As we (and our best friends) say, “Have lots of grins and chuckles!” Life is short…enjoy.

Read Full Post »

If it ain’t chained down…

The county line sign less than a mile away from our house.  I think the saying "If it ain's chained down..." really applies here! And always brings forward a chuckle.

The county line sign less than a mile away from our house. I think the saying "If it ain't chained down..." really applies here! And always brings forward a chuckle.

Read Full Post »

Country Folklore Revisited

Folklore

Back when I was a city girl, I met a woman that cemented pieces of country folklore in my mind.  She was raised in a hilly, woodsy area, along the edge of the Missouri Ozarks.   Many times over she told me the story of how she was “raised up” with woods full of rattle snakes.  She often tried to teach me the truth in sayings that were passed down from her “folk people.”

In her own words:  

Drop rusty nails into the cooking pot to tenderize tough rooster meat.  

When you kill a goat you must sneak up on it.  If the goat becomes surprised, the meat will be too tough to eat.

Do not allow hay droppings to sit in a bucket of water overnight.  The hay will turn into snakes.

Do not can green beans while menstruating.  Doing so will cause the beans to go bad.

Always keep a dog as a pet.  A dog will take illnesses away from its owner. 

More from others:

If you kill a frog, either accidentally or on purpose, the milk in your cow will dry up.

If a bird flies into your house, it means a death will occur.

A pregnant woman should never look at a snake, it will “mark” the baby.

When you comb your hair, you must not let a bird steal a strand for its nest or you will have headaches all summer.

True or false, and I think the word folklore says it all, these sayings are passed down from generation to generation.  Interestingly enough, many are believed and followed.

I find myself knocking on wood.  I am not superstitious in any way, but if I say something that I think will “jinx” me (ex:  “I haven’t had that happen in a very long time”), I knock on wood! Do I REALLY think knocking on wood is going to save me from something going wrong? No!

Oh, and breaking a mirror.  The last time I broke a mirror was the day I moved into this house.  I could have cried.  I felt the hand of doom for a moment.  Absolute silliness!

How about you? Do you toss the folklore out the window, or do you hang on to certain sayings like treasured gold?

Oh, by the way, with 20 water buckets on my farm, I do believe I would be living in a snake nightmare by now if all of those pieces of hay really did turn into snakes overnight! Yikes!!!

Read Full Post »

Cat In The Truck Bumper

I'm waiting...and waiting...and waiting..

I'm waiting...and waiting...and waiting...

I sit here each day, swishing my tail, patiently waiting.  I just know there will be a moment when that orange striped cat comes out of the goat lady’s truck bumper.  I just know it!

Read Full Post »

Messies Anonymous

MessyI might need to join this group! You know, I think I have heard the words “you first have to admit you have a problem before you can fix it.”  Oh oh.  This week I have went from self-help (finding inner peace by finishing things already started, oink, oink) to self-help (healthy brain food), now, Messies Anonymous?!

I listen to various radio programs when I am out and about, sometimes I catch a few words even between the house and the barn.  This Friday I was driving to pick up grain for the goats.  The program on the radio grabbed my attention to the extent that I changed my well thought out chore schedule in mid-stream (it was one of those stop 4 places in 45 minutes trips).  I even turned the truck’s cruise control on so I would not drive over 55 MPH.  I was mesmerized.

As I listened to the radio conversation about Messies (Vs. Neats), I thought to myself, “Surely I am not a Messy? No way!!!” But, yes, something sounded eerily familiar to me. 

Just look at this photo, carefully.  I walked all around the house to find messes, and it was not difficult.  From a corner of my office, here is a porcelain dish pan that was purchased about 8 years ago, with the price tag (from the antiques house) still attached.  The jar that I use to store pens in is practically empty.  The pens are dumped in the bottom of the pan.  There is also a dust rag in the pan, hmmm…I might need to use that.  I used it once before.  The chair is an old office chair that really needs to go.  Then, there is my Scooby Doo.  Yes, he reminds me of my late boxer, Samson.  Then, folded on top is a curtain.  Yes, a curtain. A curtain that I removed a few months back.   To the left, along the wall, is the leaf from one of the dining tables.  Now, I do need to resurrect myself just slightly, only 2 of the rooms in my house are messy, the rest have no clutter, nothing but dust now and then.  My desk, kitchen and soap shop are clutter free as well.  It is a start, right?! 

As I looked for a messy setting for a photo I laughed and giggled.  As the speaker said, “A Messy does not see their mess like a Neat does.”  She is right! When you look through a different pair of eyes you see exactly where you are at.  You see the things you keep because you think you will use them someday.  Clutter. 

It isn’t easy being messy.  I feel horribly guilty.  Not that I have time to clean each and eveyr day (I work around the clock on some days).  At least once a week the thought crosses my mind, “If only I could have someone clean my house for $25.00!” Uh huh…that’s going to happen! And, God wants us to be neat and clean, he wants us to see things that are beautiful.  Double guilt.  Helllppp meee…tee hee.  As the speaker (Ms. Felton) said, we are all born with certain things we need to overcome.  I agree!! But…I posted a while back about building on strengths and ignoring the weaknesses, does this count (I ask myself)? No!

Hilarious and “out there” as it seems, Ms. Sandra Felton, touched my heart.  She is a self-proclaimed Messy.  She has written books, developed groups, even online Yahoo groups devoted to Messies.  Her website is, www.messies.com.  Yes, you got it, she is real, and I even see a small TM next to some of her “products.”  Did someone mention pokes at self-help gurus? Well, we will leave Ms. Felton out of this, I need her today (as I shake my finger at you, tee hee), funny!

I hope you enjoyed my confession, ha, and Messies Anonymous, here I come (perhaps in the near future)!

Again, no poking allowed, but I thought you would enjoy Ms. Feltons day one plan:

Step One

Make a strong take-off every day. A good take-off sets the tone of the day. When you:

WAKE UP — set a time
JUMP UP — don’t lie in bed, there’s a wonderful world waiting
MAKE UP — the bed immediately, automatically
EAT UP — something nutritious
WASH UP — bathe body or wash face
BRUSH UP — take care of your teeth
DRESS UP — completely from head to toe including hair, shoes, and makeup of some kind on your face
LOOK UP — somewhere during the day you need to turn your heart upward to God (a great way to start the day)

Add any other steps you may need to your flight plan, like TAKE A WALK. They don’t have to end with UP.

This list comes from The Organizer Lady® and is sent weekly along with the daily news reminder to those who subscribe.

 

Final note:  I do these things already, except for the making up the bed…I guess I am salvageable!!!! Well…I do not dress up for the goats, either.  Perhaps I should???  And I definitely do not have aisles that I have to clear just to walk from room to room, I just tend to go blind to the obvious from time to time. 

Are you a Messy, or are you a Neat?

Have a wonderful Sunday, relax, smell the roses, and remember me the next time you dust the furniture…ask me how I am progressing with my spring cleaning!

Read Full Post »

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »